Sunday, December 28, 2008

misc recent pages

I don't recall what exactly the Meatmoat joke was about, but it was drawn for a good reason, I'm sure. And if only I had a job writing for fortune cookies, my life would be awesome.

Being the giant nerd I am, I love SMB II sprites. I also love mustaches, especially the mustachopus. Real life mustaches, though, not so much.

Jungle Book sketches

The Jungle Books are some of my all-time favorite words on paper, and I admit the Disney movie has some pretty amazing bits despite taking a gigantic dump on the stories its based on.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Beware the Vampraisin

More old sketches, mostly from 2004, I think. I've never been into vampires, although I do find them an easy source of hilarity, what with the degree of total SRSNSS they seem to evoke in budding novelists and squealing teenage girls.

My favorite vampire-related plan was for one of my comic classes. I was going to tell the story of the dreaded Vampraisin, an evil undead sun-dried creature who sucks the juice of the other fruits in the produce dept.
Then when he's full of their precious juice, he plumps back up into a grape. Sadly for the world of comics, I got lazy and never actually finished that assignment, although I do have some sketches.
Vampire arms must stay above the head at all times!

This guy was going to be sharing a heart, 50's-maltshop style, but I never drew his companion for some reason. Possibly because drawing girl vampires somehow feels even nerdier than guy vampires, and I couldn't handle the crushing nerdgirl shame.

Another plan I had for something-or-other involved this guy, who is as embarassed by the vampire mythos as I am, and spent most of his time trying to avoid having to do anything vampire-y. I like that if he turned into mist, he would always reform in cliche vampire style; brooding sideburns, flouncy blouse, long flowy hair tied in a velvet ribbon, the works.

He had this little bird friend that wore a bear mask, but I have no idea why.

Perhaps the awesomest vampire thing ever is a little show called Vampire High. It mostly involves teen vampires hanging out in the basement of a university, (where they're the "night school students" GEDDIT???) being angsty and wearing increasingly retarded outfits.

My fav was the token "hot" girl who I swear to god was wearing cinnamon rolls on her head in one episode.

Another episode insisted on combining vampire lore with traditional samauri code, for some misguided reason.

I can't blame them for trying, but the only good use of vampires, Count Duckula, has already been done.

I'm not entirely embarrassed about

liking Rumiko Takahashi, because Ranma will always be one of my favorite things ever. But MAN, I just could not get into ANYTHING else she did. How the hell does that work?

I tried SO hard to like InuYasha, especially, since it came out right after Ranma and I still cared, but it was pretty much one of the most boring things I've read.

Also, I feel like it COULD have been interesting, and pretty easily, which just makes its suckiness that much more aggravating.

Ah well. In the end, it wasn't bad, and a zillion other people loved it, so I probably shouldn't be so judgmental.

12 Eyes of the Toxic Everglades

3" Dunny, Paperclay, beads, acrylic

I originally imagined this guy as being somewhat ordinary; multiple eyes and lack of pants nonwithstanding. I couldn't really see how to do that and attach any kind of reasonable and interesting story to it, though, so I ended up doing him as kind of a Godzilla/Swamp Monster-type affair.

The paint job is a little weird to me, but the eyes came out unexpectedly kick ass.


I give you:

I believe the premise was 'giant arthropod kills celebrities I hate, including Sarah Jessica Parker, Neve Campbell, the entirety of N'Sync, and some other people who I can't remember.'

I somehow wrangled this into a project for my senior art class, despite it being totally retarded and artistically pointless. Lucky for me, my teacher was totally on board with my stupid ideas, and liked it enough to put it in the school display case, where it was promptly yanked out by the principal, supposedly due to its proximity to the Columbine shootings.

Personally, I thought that was a pretty weak excuse, for the obvious reason of HUMUNGOUS ANT EATING A CONCERT != Actuall real-life tragedy, and it would do well for everyone to try to keep that in mind before they freak out on things like this. Unfortunately, political corectness won the day, and it was on display for less than six hours before being pulled, paving the way for me to spend my adulthood drawing dongs and titties for display at lowbrow galleried in the greater LA area.

Well, your heart was in the right place, I'm sure, Mr. Buresh, but still, ya kinda blew that one.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

sketch fail

Still not getting anywhere actually trying to draw stuff, so I may as well post some old stuff. My art crisis is no reason not to have pictures to look at!

So these are for an animation I was going to do back in 2005, but the band whose song I wanted to use, while amenable, also seemed kinda 'neh' about the whole thing. Which led to me being very 'eh' about it, so this is all the farther it ever went.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Can't get enough of not updating stuff

Since I'm so fucking awesome at totally remembering to update things in a timely fashion, I've started the 365 photo project! It will probably mostly be pictures of Pokemon figures or something stupid like that, because stupid is how I work best.

Unseen Anatomy

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


The great thing about Pokemon is that there's a retarded number of them, and they can all be drawn to look pretty hilarious with a minimum of effort.

I think there may be some molesting going on here, not sure.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


I've never been into koalas; their noses are too creepy. I do like that they're the assholes of the outback despite their fuzziness, tho.

The OctoUmbrella, however, I'm totally on board with. Octopi must be waterproof, right? I mean, they would dissolve if they weren't, I like to think.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Felt Autopsy

Felt Autopsy

Done for the Wild Wild Kingdom plus show at Monkeyhouse Toys in Silverlake.

In my defense, I
did try to sew something, but honestly, I think it's time to admit that particular ship has sailed, sprung a leak, and sank in the harbour. So, needle felting. I'm good at stabbing stuff.

This is a major occurrence when I'm felting.

Using pliers to hold the felt, pros : no stabby fingers. Cons : stab metal, needle breaks, flies, hits me in the eye.

He has pretty little toenails. And one Penn nail, for some reason.

Almost done! Except for the signs, and organs, and painting the wood, and figuring out how to attach everything to said. Siiiiiiigh.